More Than Happy
One of the things I love is used books; however, this love for used books has created overloaded bookshelves. As in books 2 rows deep on each shelf. Books stacked on top of the front and back rows. Obviously I have an addiction here. Today I decided to tackle the stacks and part ways with some of my books.
I found myself looking through them of course as I was deciding on who to keep and who to let go. What captures my mind the most are the inscriptions. It’s like getting an extra scoop of ice cream for free these little inscriptions. A glimpse into someone’s life. Glimpses that I turn into stories.
Some of the inscriptions I came across today:
“To our son Dan, Merry Christmas,” Love Dad and Margaret. Interesting, our son yet she doesn’t sign as mom. Here’s a family saga of remarriage and a blended family.
Then there was someone’s flight information with flight numbers, seat assignment, airport names and gates with departure and arrival times. An interesting travel story here. Maybe a business trip? Or a trip to meet a long lost friend. Possibly a trip to visit family? Lots of options.
One of my favorites is this one: Dear Jan, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Anais Nin. Your friendship has truly blessed my life-happy birthday dear friend!!” Love, Elaine. June 23, 1997. Oh be still my heart! I’ve created many stories about these friends!
Another one I found shocked me. It said….Merry Christmas 2008, May 2009 be a happier year. - Sandra
It was written to me. Oh my goodness. I pictured my own story here. 2008 was a rough year for sure, but this inscription makes it apparent that I lived an obviously unhappy life that year. How sad that I lived from such a dark place that instead of spreading any light or joy to the world, I added to the darkness. What is more sad is that this friend was in her 3rd year of treatment for breast cancer and in 2009 was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She had health issues, and had no idea what 2009 held for her, yet she hoped 2009 would be happier for me.
Fast forward 10 years later. The year is now, 2019. My friend Sandra has been gone for 9 years. She died on the eve of her 61st birthday in June 2010 surrounded by family and friends. Today, I realized I am finally the woman she caught a glimpse of all those years ago. She isn’t here to see it, but she would be relieved that her years of speaking wisdom to me paid off. She saw a woman in me I hadn’t yet believed existed. She saw who I was becoming. And now I am here.
You see, I’ve learned to be more than happy. I’ve learned that joy trumps happiness. A deep joy that isn’t swayed by circumstance. A joy that looks forward with eternal perspective and keeps the here and now less front and center. A joy that only comes from walking with God, trusting in Him on both good and bad days.
Life still happens. There are still hard things to deal with. There are still days I don’t feel happy. The difference is that I don’t wallow in miry depths for days on end. I pray to let the joy of the Lord be my strength and you know what? He is my strength so that I can remain light to others.
Needless to say, the book with that inscription is back on my shelf….and I know right where it is when I need a reminder.